Lesson no. 74 Women: -

Nabi ﷺ’s guidance about women: -

Treat women nicely: -

1. Narrated by Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه that Nabi ﷺ said: Treat women nicely, for a women is created from a rib and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely.
[Bukhari: 3331; Book. 60; English vol. 4; Book. 55; Hadees. 548]

Tattoos disliked & prohibited: -

2. Narrated by Abdullah رضي الله عنه that Nabi ﷺ cursed the women who do tattoos and the women who have them done, Al-Mutanammisat and the women who have their teeth separated for the sake of beauty, those who change (the creation of Allah)"
[Nasa’i: 5099; Book. 48; English vol. 6; Book. 48, Hadees; 5102]

Male should not imitate female & female should not imitate male: -

3. Narrated by Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنهما that Nabi ﷺ cursed the women who imitate men and the men who imitate women"
[Tirmizi: 3013; Book. 43, English vol. 5; Book. 41, Hadees: 2784]

Women not allowed visiting graves: -

4. Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه narrated that, "Indeed Nabi ﷺ cursed the women who visit the graves".
[Tirmizi: 1056; Book. 10, English vol. 2; Book. 5, Hadees: 1056]

Women prohibited shaving their hairs: -

5. Narrated by Ali رضي الله عنه that Nabi ﷺ forbade women to shave their heads".
[Nasa’i: 5049; Book. 48; English vol. 6; Book. 48, Hadees: 5052]
(Means should not get bald).

Women can be bad luck or evil omen: -

6. Sahl Ibn Saad رضي الله عنه says that Nabi ﷺ said: "If there is bad luck in anything, it is in houses, women and horses".
[Al-Adab Al-Mufrad: 917; Book. 39, Eng; Book. 39, Hadees: 917]
7. Narrated by Abdullah Bin Umar رضي الله عنهما that Nabi ﷺ said: "Evil omen is in the women, the house and the horse'.
[Bukhari: 5093; Book. 67; English vol. 7; Book. 62; Hadees. 30]

About Chapter 24 An- Noor verse 31 & 60: -

8. Narrated by Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنهما that the verse:

‏‏ وَقُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنَاتِ يَغْضُضْنَ مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِنَّ ‏

Translation: And say to the believing women that they should lower gaze was partly abrogated by the verse:

‏‏ وَالْقَوَاعِدُ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ اللاَّتِي لاَ يَرْجُونَ نِكَاحًا ‏

Translation: Such elderly women as are past the prospect of marriage.
[Abu Dawud: 4111; Book. 34; English Book. 33; Hadees. 4099]
Means women also should not see other men.

Mariyam عليها السلام & Khadija رضي الله عنها the best women of their time: -

9. Narrated by Ali رضي الله عنه that Nabi ﷺ said: "The best of the world's women is Mary (Mariyam) عليها السلام (at her lifetime) and the best of the world's women is Khadija رضي الله عنها (at her lifetime).
[Bukhari: 3815; Book. 63; English vol. 5; Book. 58; Hadees. 162] Hazrat Khadija رضي الله عنها was Nabi ﷺ’s first wife.

A’isha رضي الله عنها the superior: -

10. Narrated by Anas رضي الله عنه that Nabi ﷺ said: Superiority of A’isha رضي الله عنها to other women is like the superiority of Sareed to other kinds of food.
[Bukhari: 5419; Book. 70; English vol. 7; Book. 65; Hadees. 330] Sareed is a dish which Nabi ﷺ liked very much.
How to make Sareed: - Take some meat of goat or lamb; cut the meat into small pieces than boil it, as we do while preparing soups. Smash the boiled meat into small fibers (especially of lamb or goat). Add required amount of water & put the smashed meat in it along with the soup obtained while boiling the meat & prepare soup in routine way. When the soup is ready put small pieces of barley chapatti or barley bread in it & cover the vessel with a plate for 5 minutes. Than serve it.

Contract or temporary marriage prohibited: -

11. Ali Bin Abi Talib رضي الله عنه narrated that Nabi ﷺ prohibited the Mut'ah (temporary or contract marriage) with women and the meat of domestic donkeys during (th-e campaign of) Khaibar".
[Tirmizi: 1121; Book. 11, English vol. 2; Book. 6, Hadees: 1121]

Do not entry from doors reserved for women: -

12. Nafi said: Umar Bin Al-Khattab رضي الله عنه used to prohibit (men) to enter through the doors reserved for women.
[Abu Dawud: 464; Book. 2; English Book. 2; Hadees. 464]

Man will take care of 40 women: -

13. Narrated by Abu Musa رضي الله عنه that Nabi ﷺ said: A time will come upon the people when a person will wander about with gold as Zakat and will not find anybody to accept it and one man will be seen followed by forty women to be their guardian because of scarcity of men and great number of women.
[Bukhari: 1414; Book. 24; English vol. 2; Book. 24; Hadees. 495]

Eid Salah: -

14. Narrated by Umme Atiyyah رضي الله عنها that Nabi ﷺ said: Bring out the women who have attained puberty and those who are in seclusion so that they may attend the Eid prayer and (join in) the supplication of the Muslims. But let the women who are menstruating avoid the prayer place.
[Ibn Majah: 1368; Book. 5; English vol. 1; Book. 5, Hadees: 1308]

Do not disdain neighbours: -

15. Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه reported Nabi ﷺ, said: "Muslim women! Muslim women! A woman should not disdain her female neighbour's gift, even if it is only a sheep's hoof".
[Al-Adab Al-Mufrad*: 123; Book. 6, Eng; Book. 6, Hadees: 123]
Disdain means a feeling that someone or something is unworthy of one's consideration or respect.

Author’s notes: - Dear men I would like to draw your attention at the following points regarding women: -

1. Women are amongst the best & beautiful creations of Allah Ta’ala; they are poorly understood by male, they are different from male in many aspects like anatomy, physiology & psychology.
2. They have stage-wise changes in their life, anatomically, physiologically & socially. Means they have more physical changes than male for example growth of secondary sex characters like breast growth, hair growth, complexion changes & etc, there also psychological changes which are poorly understood by male.
3. Male & female are bond in many types of relations, female take more part than male takes, female are more in social life than male, they built a house & family, they have more bonding power, more uniting power, more love, more attraction, more emotion, more talking power, more caring, more determination & etc.
4. It is said that none woman left Islam after the passing of Nabi ﷺ though many male left Islam after passing of Nabi , because women are more loyal & determined. Though some women may lack for what I have mentioned above.
5. They have all types of physical changes, mainly from the age of 10 years to 50 years. For example they get matured before boys, they speedily change in to a lady from a girl and they start with menstrual cycles, have genital discharge & bodily growth & get older soon.
6. The menstrual cycles are every month; they bear the pain & changes, better than male, than very soon they get married than became a mother & a huge responsibility lays on their shoulders lifelong.
7. They leave their houses become a wife, daughter in law & etc. My dear men please imagine, leaving a home in which she grew up with her family is not an easy thing though female adopt it easily.
8. She takes the house hold responsibilities sooner than a boy takes responsibility of his job or business. A boy enjoins with his friends after marriage also, but a woman leaves all her friends & company.
9. They have hormonal changes every month and get ups & downs in the mood, body functions, physical health, in hunger, weight etc, which, for a husband is important to understand, these ups & downs are due to their hormonal monthly cycle.
10. During their menses they have mood swings & we male should understand & support them rather scolding them or beating etc.
11. They get pregnant, due to the love, husband & wife share with each other, they pay the price of that love & relation for the 9 month caring a baby inside her womb, than bear the pain of delivery than nurse the baby & look after the baby throughout, also looking after the husband & family at the same time throughout.
12. Do male have these changes?

A most common problem between a married couple: -

1. During new days after marriage or on the first night, the bride has to face the pain of hymen membrane rupture & remember the shyness she feels and the frightening, the bleeding she has due to rupture of hymen membrane & pain she has due to the first intercourse by forcing the penetration of penis into the narrow virgina.
2. Many times it is not possible to have a successful intercourse neither on the first night nor on the first week, means it may take a few days to open up the virginal canal & have a successful intercourse; dear men please understand the pain and the narrowness of virgina and the bleeding etc are the signs of virginity of a female. She proof her virginity by above, but how can men proof their virginity?
3. Wives get more infected with urinary tract infection & white discharge due to cross infection from their husbands during intercourse.
4. Also women physics changes after the delivery.
5. Dear men she does bear much more than what I have written, now you should be supportive to your wife.

Role of men towards their wives: -

1. Men should be supportive to his wife in all means, as said, Narrated by Abu Hurairah  that Nabi ﷺ said: "Treat women nicely, for a women is created from a rib and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely".
[Bukhari: 3331; Book. 60; English vol. 4; Book. 55; Hadees. 548]
2. He should understand the monthly cyclic hormonal changes & understand his wife’s mood swings, changes that she has before & during her menses, pregnancy, menopause etc. Be kind humble to them, as our Nabi ﷺ were always kind, humble & respectful to His ﷺ wives & taught us the same.
3. Remember Allah Ta’ala has given women the concession not to pray Salah & not to fast during their menses by which we should understand that THE AL-MIGHTY gives concession during menses, how physically & psychologically a woman gets disturbed.
4. The Female hormones are very powerful & bring all types of changes in body & due to this husband finds his wife little stubborn sometime, getting disturbed by small matters, may argue with her husband sometime, may be bold in speech & much more, please understand if these above are sometime, than these are due to hormonal changes, if these are all time than it may be the habit of your wife. Inspite of all you will find her loving & caring you & your family.
5. Be humble with her, do not argue with her, do not discuss matter with her when she is disturbed, do not try to be bold when she is bold, (some time become a bowler & some time become a batsmen or a fielder or a wicket keeper or an empire).
6. Talk to her, explain your problems in a better way, make her silence by loving & caring her, she needs your care & love more when she is in hormonal changes. 7. Remember females are more interested in companionship, love & care; they like fore play more rather than real intercourse and kiss them with modesty, have modesty while intercourse, do not tell them to do anything disgusting like taking sex organs in mouth etc by this they get a negative feeling, that male wants this only from females.
8. One of the big problem is, male are interested more in sex & intercourse rather than love, care & fore play, but female like these more. These lacks of understanding in males breaks or hurts the relationship very badly & deeply.
9. She needs a special care during pregnancy days & after delivery. She needs loyalty of her husband the more, than money & luxury; she needs your honesty & modesty more than outing & outside feast. Remember it was you who proposed her to marry you; it is she who left her home & family, to be yours & only yours.
10. Remember! It will take some time to your newlywed wife to adjust with you & your family, to adopt the entire new atmosphere of your home & family, even in many cases the bride has to go another city or country this makes more difficult to adopt the new way of life. The family of the groom should realize this.
11. And again one big problem with couples is that, always, the wife complains that her husband does not talk to her much and gets irritated when she talks to him, when he comes home from his work at evening. This is due to that female can speak more than 20000 to 25000 words a day, this is due to they have a big size talking centre in their brain comparing to males who have a small speaking centre in the brain and males can hardly speak 3000 to 5000 words a day & that quota he completes at his work & when he comes at home he is left out with no speaking quota left for his wife & due to it he does not like to talk & gets irritated when she talks to him at that time. So he should keep a little quota so that he can talk a little with her.
12. Lastly after menopause she gets more hormonal imbalance due to withdrawal of many female hormones thus gets into a final & most difficult stage of changes.